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5 Things That Would Improve Social Media

Sean MacEntee at Flickr

Since it looks like social media is here to stay, I think some rules need to be set up so things don’t get too out of control. There are billions of people on social media with millions more joining each day (made up numbers). A lot of these accounts are created by people trying to steal your information or worse, men.

That’s why I have some up with five ways to improve social media to make it a safer, less angry place to hang out and show off how much better your life is than your friends.

5. Pay to block someone from using social media.

You all have friends that annoy everyone on social media. They post too many selfies, they send links that are a waste of time or they leave comments that clearly miss the point of the conversation. A way to teach them a lesson would be to pay for them to be banned from facebook/twitter/instagram for a certain amount of time. Obviously the more you pay, the longer they are banned. It would have to be a large amount because I would gladly pay to ban most of my friends all the time.

I know what you’re thinking, they could just set up another account under a different name, you know like a pervert, but that brings us to number 4….

4. Verified SSN

Yes, you would have to verify your identity with a valid SSN. I know this will probably cut the users on each major social media outlet in half, but it’s the only way to know that your 18 year old friend Katie is actually 55 year old Ken living in his mother’s basement in Taft, CA.

3. Douche Stamps

We all have at least one friend that’s a douchebag. Just reading this now you are thinking about them. Their face just flashed in your mind the moment you saw the word douche. For a fee, you would be able to put a douche stamp on their profile for a specified amount of time. Of course, you will need a valid reason, such as they have their own name tattooed on their body or after kissing them they mention something about their spouse.

2. Dislike button.

Even youtube has gotten on board with this. The only problem I see is that there would be far more dislikes than likes. To wipe out the dislikes, there could be an option that is you receive too many of them, then the post would be deleted. Also you would be able to easily tell if someone is a douche because they would have no posts, they would have all been deleted.

1.Anything a guy says will automatically post to his mother’s (or closest equivalent) facebook page

It’s the only way to keep people in check and make sure sexist and degrading comments aren’t thrown around as often as they are today. This could be done since everyone would be verified through SSN’s (see #4 above). Now people who act like pigs would be shamed by their family for telling you how good you look in that turtleneck, “oh yeah, you wear that turtleneck girl”.


Photo by Sean MacEntee at Flickr

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