In case you haven’t noticed, cars are everywhere. On our streets, in our garages, selling drugs to kids on the school playgrounds, everywhere. There are many car that are obvious why they were made, they are sleek and beautiful (such as the DeLorean). Some though are piles of shit (such as the Reliant Robin, see photo at bottom). You notice them while driving. They may be riding on four spare tires, spouting black smoke like a power plant or covered in decals to the point where even the driver can’t see out the windshield.
Or, they may be sporting a bad name. There are hundreds of poorly named vehicles out there. I went through all of them, wrote them down longhand, rearranged them, placed them in order of horribleness, wrote them longhand again for some reason and then narrowed the list down to the five worst.
So here we are, after literally minutes of searching the internet for car names, the five worst car names ever:
(All Photos by WikiCommons)
- Toyota Yaris
Yaris? What does that even mean. I think Toyota needs stupid names to make the good ones in their lineup better. I think Tacoma, Tundra and Civic are pretty good but it might be because they are sitting next to the Yaris. Ugh.
- Mazda Bongo
I’m pretty sure the sales pitch on this name was “If you put two of them side by side, you could play music on them.” With the response being, “You could also scare off any attractive females within a two mile radius”, which is probably how far the car with go before it breaks down.
- Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard
This was either top five worst names ever or #6 on the best names ever, because I’m still on the fence whether it’s geniuses or just stupid. No car should have a name that’s longer than two words, that’s a philosophy that I live by, and you should to. The world would be a better place.
This must have been the car makers grandmother’s name who was a saint, I don’t see any other reason to name a car after it, so sorry if this offends anyone but it’s going on the list. But Yugo? Come on.
- Ford Probe
It had to be. You don’t name a car after something that historically goes into your butt. You just don’t.
As promised….. I give you the Reliant Robin: